


Phoenix Rising 2

by Constance_Lirit



Series: Billy and Lucy Crystal [2]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Alcohol, C-137, Drabble, F/M, Humour, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Party, Rick Z-567, Romance, Sarcasm, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 01:24:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12619972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Constance_Lirit/pseuds/Constance_Lirit
Summary: Crystal heads to Earth, dimension C-137, to pick up her party-going sister, Lucy, from a party Rick is hosting. Her plans however do not go completely as planned.





	1. Chapter 1

In silence and shadows Crystal lay on her back with her head propped up on a pillow, her emerald eyes reflecting the flickers of colour from the television as she watched absent mindedly. The ship had been stationary for a few hours now, laying dormant in the depths of space as the halls creaked when the cold vacuum outside shrunk the metal over time. The air in the ship growing icy outside of her bedroom, whilst her heated mattress and insulated walls kept her warm. With Lucy off entertaining Quantum Rick somewhere in the great beyond Crystal had been left for several days by herself, a theme that was beginning to become a reoccurring situation. It had been five months since the two siblings had spent a week at his Rick themed resort, and it came as much of a surprise to her as it did to Lucy when Rick continued to keep in touch, his interests in her sister never seeming to wane. The same could not be said for Z-567.  
In the months that followed their vacation she had barely seen hide nor hair of the guard, though she supposed such a thing was unlikely when Lucy usually teleported off of the ship to be with Quantum instead of the other way round. It was not until she was alone for several days at a time that a person felt the true emptiness of space. It made all the more sense to her now than it ever did to hear of people developing ‘space madness’ from constant isolation. Sighing the redhead sat up onto her knees and pushed the television up into the ceiling before turning her light on.

Rummaging around for a change of clothes Crystal took a moment to consider a torn up shirt she had not worn in quite some time.  
“Cirrus, transfer heat to the main corridor and the cabin please.” she requested, starting to get changed into her driving clothes. “Temperature update, Cirrus.” Crystal asked once she was dressed.  
"Negative two-hundred-thirty-five degrees Celsius outside to twenty-one degrees Celsius inside. Temperatures now stable for human habitation." it answered.  
“You don’t have to tell me the temp’ outside, Cirrus. Unless it changes dramatically of course.” Crystal replied, opening the door to step out into the restrictive corridor and make her way up to the cabin room.  
Sitting down the woman stretched out her legs and then began turning everything on, waiting for her ship to warm itself up before she started the engine and took off through space again.  
“Distance in time from earth?” she questioned, checking the small radar next to her chair for any incoming or potential dangers.  
“Three hours.” the ship answered, while Crystal put the ship back onto auto-pilot once she had mapped out an appropriate course via her holographic map. 

Once more the white noise of space took over, the eerie vibrations only audible to the human ear through special instruments built into the walls of the ship, without them there would be no sound whatsoever, and for Crystal she preferred the noise as it gave her an indication of direction and distance. Every planet had its own special set of vibrations, and in the Earth’s solar system in particular she was able to use the familiar noises as a means of direction and distance. As of right now all she could hear was the eerie hum of Uranus’ moon, Miranda, coming in through the speakers above, the creeping vibrations sending chills down her spine until Uranus itself took over, sounding a lot like a snow storm.  
Leaning backwards the redhead began to meditate, her eyes closing and her body beginning to relax. Remaining this way for several hours Crystal lay slumped in her chair, her head tilted to the side until Cirrus broke the silence.  
“Entering Earth’s atmosphere in fifteen minutes.” he informed her, causing the woman to straighten up, groan at the sensation of feeling stiff and then mentally prepare herself for the pressures of gravity that she was going to have to get used to all over again.

Landing her ship in a recluse mountain section of the Rainier peaks, located within Washington, Crystal got out and inhaled deeply, her misted breath mingling with the fresh air as she exhaled slowly. She had not been to Earth since that fateful night she was abducted, the entirety situation making her slightly emotional until she pushed it to the back of her mind.  
“Release Judge from the hanger please.” the redhead requested, to which the ship lowered down a platform, releasing a car from within. It had been a very long time since Crystal had been able to put her convertible to good use, but she had always made sure to keep him in optimal condition nonetheless. “Cirrus, activate masking mode, return to orbit until I call for you please.” the redhead then requested once she had gotten into her car.  
Watching her ship take off into the sky, making sure to turn invisible before it broke through the tree tops, Crystal then took off down the road, heading south until she found route 165, which then allowed her a fast, albeit windy, journey towards her sister’s location. Along the way the redhead had turned on the radio, hoping to listen to some of the new music that Earth had to offer.  
“You’re tuning into KEXP 90.3 FM, and this is Ty Segall with Alta!” the presenter informed her, the music starting thereafter.

Elsewhere Lucy had been sitting in a living room drinking, her brown eyes occasionally lifting to watch Morty rush past in either direction as he tried to control the guests. From time to time she could even hear his anxious screams through the music, but she was sure he was just over reacting. Beside her was Jerry Smith, who had only come here with Morty and Summer after Rick C-137 convinced him it was what he needed to get over the whole divorce thing with his wife. He really did not look like this party was helping him however, especially when all the guests were either between the ages of fourteen and eighteen or not even human at all. She was not too sure where Quantum Rick had gone. Parking up her car Crystal checked herself in the mirror before she got out and set her car to cloaking mode, she was not about to leave a rare open top car out in the open with rowdy, unpredictable drunks partying nearby. Stopping at the entrance, which was wide open for anyone to walk right into, the redhead eyeballed a drunk teenager who was making out with a girl, whether they knew each other was a totally different story.

Walking through the busy hallway once she was inside Crystal avoided several empty drinking cups and aliens being thrown about, the walls and floors of the house steadily becoming trashed as the night progressed.  
‘What a mess.’ she thought to herself as she went looking for her sister, who was surprisingly not that hard to find when she was just sitting on the living room sofa. “Lucy.” she greeted her sibling, the blonde turning to look up at her before jumping to her feet.  
“Crystal!” she cheered, hugging her tightly. “Oh thank god, here sit down; have a drink, meet Jerry!” she erratically shouted, shoving the redhead down onto the sofa with a drink before she jetted off looking for Quantum.  
“… Hi.” Crystal greeted the middle-aged brunet.  
“Hi.” he replied, the two of them staring at each other awkwardly.  
“Great party.” she spoke, giving the drink a scrutinising stare before she put it down on the coffee table.  
“Tell me about it.” he scoffed, getting his drink knocked into his lap by a Rick who only laughed at his misfortune after realising who he had hit.

Rushing through the hallway Lucy kept her eyes peeled for Quantum, her heels digging into the carpet when she finally spotted him hiding in a back room playing cards.  
“Quantum, Crystal’s finally here.” she informed him, his line of sight making no move to look away from his hand.  
“So?” he questioned.  
“That means we can-” she began to tell him, leaning over to whisper into his ear thereafter.  
“… Z-567, go entertain Crystal.” Quantum informed his guard swiftly, who for the last hour had done nothing but hover over him with watching eyes and a stiff demeanour. Nodding Rick left the room, causing several of the other Ricks’ to relax.  
“Fu-Fuck that guy is too intense...” C-137 protested, being one of the many around the table to pull out drugs they had been hiding. Pulling up a chair Lucy got comfy against Quantum and happily accepted the rolled up square of paper he then offered her.

Out in the backyard Crystal had been talking to Jerry where the music was far quieter, allowing them to communicate without shouting.  
“So you’re going through a divorce too?” the brunet questioned.  
“Going on seven months now.” the redhead admitted.  
“And what is it you do?” he asked curiously.  
“I’m a pharmacists and botanist.” she replied. “Yourself?” she then questioned, his eyes darting to the side awkwardly.  
“Oh... I’m between jobs.” he answered stiffly.  
“Works hard to find in this economy.” she sighed, leaning against the house wall.  
“… So you’re from Earth right?” Jerry then asked, while Crystal just paused.  
“I-” she went to speak, being distracted by someone calling her name.  
“Crystal.” came the familiar voice of Rick, her head turning to look at the guard as he came over to her, confetti sticking to part of his hair.  
“Rick...” she greeted him, not quite sure what to feel right now.

Stood there the pair fell silent, while Jerry looked between them awkwardly.  
“You forgot your flask on my ship.” she finally spoke, pulling said flask out from her coat pocket. “I was using it to store my coffee but...” she added, handing it over to him. “Oh, this is Jerry; but you probably already knew him.” she introduced the brunet, who only gave Rick an uncomfortable wave while a chill went down his spine.  
“IIII’m gonna just go...” he spoke, side stepping around Rick to go back inside stiffly. Pouting the redhead watched him leave.  
“What were you doing talking to Jerry?” Z-567 finally asked, an eyebrow hitching as her green eyes lolled up to him.  
“Lucy dumped me on him, and then we just started talking. Turns out we’ve a lot in common.” the redhead answered. “What… Are you jealous?” she then asked coyly.  
“I just don’t want someone like that leeching off of someone else.” Rick stated, opening his flask out of force of habit before cringing when all he tasted was bitter coffee.

Rolling her eyes Crystal took back the flask, which Rick was particularly reluctant to let her take, and drank from the metallic container until the contents were gone.  
“Did you drink the original contents?” he questioned sternly, snatching back the flask when she tried to give it back to him a second time.  
“I poured it down the sink.” she answered, her nose wrinkling up a little. “That, and I think whatever was in there had gone off, it smelt horrible.” she admitted, the pair reverting back to standing in silence. “Off duty?” Crystal enquired.  
“No. I was sent away.” he answered, watching the redhead come that little bit closer.  
“I can see why. You’re so uptight at a party...” she mused, spidering her fingers down his chest. Unbuckling the belt on his coat Crystal began to stand on her tiptoes to try to reach his face. “How about I help you loosen up a bit?” she offered, reaching for his crotch until he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her arm up and away from below his belt line. Amused by his reaction Crystal tried grabbing at him with her other hand, which he also grabbed and yanked upwards.

Amidst their small struggle another Rick had come outside for some fresh air, his eyes rolling to the side to eyeball the pair for a moment.  
“Quantum was looking for you.” he burped, the guard practically throwing Crystal at the wall seconds later.  
“Fuck sake, Rick!” she barked, throwing an empty cup in his direction which only hit the wall he had vanished behind. “… Why do I even bother?” she questioned, her feet shuffling as she tried to regain her footing after having almost fallen over.  
“You-You know that guy’s got no dick, right?” Rick enquired, one half of his monobrow hitching.  
“What else is new in my life.” Crystal mused, beginning to head back inside. Finding the sofa had been taken over by a group of teenagers the redhead continued to wander the house until she spotted Jerry, who at the time had been lurking around in a study upstairs, presumably trying to avoid the Ricks’ that seemed to litter the house.  
“Hey.” Crystal greeted him, his head whipping round to look at her as he fumbled with something and then hid it behind his back.  
“Heeeyyy...” he drawled, putting whatever he had been playing with back inside the drawer.  
“What are you doing?” she decided to ask, looking around the large room curiously.  
“I was uh… Nothing.” he lied, grinning slightly as he leaned against a desk.

Blinking the redhead came that little bit closer to have a look.  
“May I see?” she asked, trying to see what he had been hiding.  
“Oh, uh… No, no it’s private.” he refused, to which she decided to drop the subject and try talking about something else.  
“So, I assume this is- was your house?” the redhead asked, trying to assume he was not actually trying to steal stuff.  
“Oh, yeah, it was.” Jerry confirmed.  
“It’s weird, right? Being in your own house, somewhere you lived for years, but you know at the end of the night you have to leave.” she spoke, leaning up against the desk to face out towards the room in the same direction as Jerry.  
“Tell me about it.” he agreed, awkwardly crossing his arms to try look cool.  
“It’s even weirder when you start finding clothes that don’t belong to you in the house.” she sighed, trying not to think too long and hard about what her ex-husband may or may not be doing right now.  
“Oh god.” Jerry replied, unable to bring himself to thinking about Beth in the arms of another man for longer than a couple of seconds.

Pausing Crystal realised she was probably not helping Jerry cope with his own divorce all that well.  
“I mean, I’m sure your wife is just as upset as you are… You guys have kids together.” she tried to smoothly continue, while Jerry just looked a tad dissatisfied.  
“I actually think I’m the only one taking the divorce this badly. The kids grew accustomed to our separation in a matter of weeks, while Rick was over the moon the second Beth told him I was moving out. And Beth, of course, is happy as long as her dad is happy.” he grumbled, drawing his glass of scotch to his lips with a frown.  
“Geez, that’s rough.” Crystal agreed, tapping her nails off of the side of the desk. “I guess I was lucky in that respect, we never had to worry about how the children might take the divorce as we never had any.” she concluded.  
“Never had the time to settle down?” he enquired stupidly.  
“Froombledroob have no genitals.” she answered plainly.  
“Oh.” he uttered, taking another sip from his scotch.

Stood there in silence Jerry finally spoke again.  
“So, you were married to an alien?” he asked, observing her pull a photo out for him to look at.  
“I really should burn this photo, but somehow I can’t bring myself to do it.” she acknowledged, the brunet examining the alien.  
“What uh… What did you see in him?” Jerry questioned, unable to see any sort of good features in the alien stood beside her.  
“He made me laugh.” she replied, staring at the photo for a minute. “Well, that and I didn’t have much of a choice. I lived millions of miles away from any other human life form. Even a curvy bit of wood starts to look appealing at that point.” she admitted gingerly, putting the photo away. “I guess I fall for the wrong men.” she uttered as an after thought.  
“Rick’s not exactly a great choice either.” Jerry surmised. “And yet he somehow manages to wrap women around his finger, even his own daughter.” he grumbled as an after thought, heading to look out the window to see what Crystal was looking at.  
“Rick’s nothing like anyone I’ve ever met. He’s like a riddle wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a white coat. Sure is ugly though.” she stated, peering out at Quantum Rick and Lucy who had somehow gotten out onto the lawn and were now laying in the grass grinning like a pair of idiots. Clearly they were high off of their faces on something while Z-567 was unaccounted for. “Makes me wonder why I can’t stop staring at him.” she admitted, turning back around to go back towards the centre of the room.

Pausing the pair listened to something getting smashed on the ground downstairs, followed by shouting and cheering.  
“I think I’m done with this party.” Crystal sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I get to come to Earth for the first time in over forty years and I have to spend it in a house that’s slowly getting demolished while my sister drinks herself silly.” the redhead grumbled, heading to leave.  
“I uh… Wait, I’ll come with you!” Jerry quickly called, rushing after her with a smile on his face. Heading outside Crystal informed her sister that she was leaving to go get something to eat, while her sister gave a vaguely coherent ‘okay’ and then went back to cuddling into Quantum Rick whilst saying how amazing the stars were.  
Rolling her eyes Crystal led Jerry away from the party to her car, which she uncloaked as they walked towards it.  
“Is that a nineteen-seventy-one Pontiac?” Jerry questioned, eyeballing the car.  
“Oh, you’re a car guy?” she enquired, getting in on the driver’s side.  
“How’d you get your hands on one?” he asked, getting in to look the interior up and down extensively.  
“It was a gift for my nineteenth birthday back in the seventies. It’s not that special, I’m pretty sure it went against US emission standards as well.” Crystal stated, reversing the car so that they could get out onto the main road.

Back inside the house Z-567 had been looking for Crystal, his monobrow lowering when he came to the conclusion that she was no longer on the premises.  
“Where did Crystal go?” Rick asked, having finally found Lucy when he caught her staggering in from outside.  
“Whu?” she enquired, giving him a groggy look.  
“Crystal, where is Crystal?” he questioned, to which she frowned a little in thought before finally remembering what her sister had told her.  
“Oh, she left with Jerry. Said they were ditching the party to go get a meal together.” she explained, to which Rick’s entire face dropped.  
“She… She left with Jerry?!” he snapped, causing a few people to jump and look at him for a moment before going back to their own conversations.

Pulling out his portal gun Rick vanished into it, leaving Lucy with a slowly unfurling expression.  
“Uh oh...” she uttered, dragging herself towards the back room where the other Ricks’ were. “Hypo-hypothetical question… If a Rick was into a... this girl, and a Jerry snatched her, what-what would a Rick do?” the blonde questioned, falling into a chair.  
“Ridiculous. Jerrys’ are only good at impregnating Beths’.” C-137 belched as he scoffed.  
“Ye-Yeah but… What if it did happen? What-What exactly would a Rick do?” she questioned, furrowing her brow.  
“Kill him probably.” one Rick uttered.  
“Yeah, I’d probably kill him too.” another agreed.  
“How uh… How upset will people be when Jerry turns up dead?” Lucy questioned, taking a drink from a cup she had left on the table from earlier.  
“Why are you asking all these-these stupid questions?” C-137 shot back, his brow furrowing as he continued to lose his concentration on the card game they were in the middle of.  
“Because Crystal left with Jerry and Z-567 looked kinda pissed off.” she explained, taking another casual sip from her drink.

Pausing in unisons all the Ricks’ turned to look at her.  
“What?” they asked.  
“What?” she replied, giving them a confused blink.  
“Jerry, C-137 Jerry, picked up Crystal?” one Rick asked, trying to remind her of what she had just been asking them.  
“Ohhh, yeah!” she gasped, putting her drink down. “Z-567 had this look on his face, like… like-” she tried to explain, stretching her mouth into a gaping, teeth clenched together expression while wrinkling her brow and bending her eyebrows down towards her eyes in the middle.  
“Fuuuuuuck.” C-137 belched, getting to his feet. “Where did they go?” he questioned, pulling out his portal gun.  
“I-I don’t know, my sister just took the car saying she was hungry.” Lucy admitted, making no move to get up and help find the idiot before Z-567 blew his brains out.

Elsewhere Crystal and Jerry had stopped and decided to go into a diner to eat, the redhead devouring the food she was given as if she had not seen a good meal in a very long time.  
“These eggs are delicious.” she stated when she had a moment.  
“The pie’s not too bad either.” Jerry replied, pausing to examine her without her glasses on. “So you and Rick aren’t a thing?” he decided to enquire.  
“Not without my attempts to woo him.” Crystal answered. “But he keeps pushing me away so watcha gonna do?” she then asked, finishing off her meal. “I wont have him keeping me on the shelf.” the redhead then grunted, fixing her lipstick.  
“… Do you want to get dessert?” Jerry asked, rather happy to finally meet someone else who did not like Rick.  
“I should really be getting back to the party to make sure Lucy is still alive.” Crystal spoke, while Jerry just frowned a little.  
“I guess I should make my way home.” he admitted, getting up to follow her to her car.  
“I’ll uh… give you a lift home, it’s the least I can do.” she offered on the way out.  
“Sure, I’d like that.” he agreed, giving her a small smile.

Driving Jerry home Crystal watched him get out of the car, the brunet pausing as he looked from his shitty looking apartment complex back towards her.  
“You uh… You wanna come in for a bit?” he questioned stiffly, rubbing the back of his neck. Giving it a bit of thought Crystal shrugged and got out of her car, setting it to cloaking mode yet again before she followed him up to his apartment. A good two hours later the redhead could be seen leaving again, looking slightly flustered as she climbed down the metal steps and made her way back towards her car.  
“Hello.” a familiar voice greeted her, her head turning to look at him.  
“What are you doing here? Are you seriously pretending to have just accidentally ran into me? Y’know, do the whole ‘fancy meeting you here’ shtick?” she asked, uncloaking her car.  
“Quantum just happened to have me come here looking for Jerry.” he replied, standing with her beside her car.

Explaining to him where she and Jerry had been for the last three hours Crystal could do nothing more than roll her eyes at Rick over dramatising the situation.  
“I can’t- I can’t believe what I'm hearing; he’s turned you against me with his sleazy sex-” Rick fumed, belching loudly. “That cunning Casanova...” he muttered stiffly, his monobrow flattening further.  
“I’m not against you.” Crystal tried to reason. “I just feel bad.” she explained.  
“You should! Screwing him is the worst thing you could-could ever have done!” Rick snapped.  
“Not that. I mean he’s going through a tough divorce with his wife.” she tutted.  
“No- That's the part you should feel good about. D-Divorce is what’s best for the both of them.” Rick informed her cruelly.  
“Look, he’s not such a bad guy once you get to know him. It’s weird because we’ve a lot in common.” the redhead admitted, surprised he could hate Jerry with such a passion.  
“Ye-Yeah, we do now.” he hissed back, her lips flattening out as she furrowed her brow.  
“For the last time- I didn’t sleep with him!” she snapped, while Rick just gave her a scrutinising stare.  
“… Prove it.” he requested.

Stood outside Jerry’s bedroom window on a balcony Crystal crossed her arms and waited, while Z-567 peered in at the brunet laying on his bed crying in the fetal position.  
“See. As soon as I sat down on the bed he started doing… doing that.” the redhead explained, whilst Rick just groaned.  
“Geeeez...” he burped quietly, pulling his face away from the glass once he had had enough of such a pathetic sight.  
“He spent the last hour talking about Beth while I tried to console him.” Crystal added, walking through Rick’s portal to be back beside her car.  
“You know, I showed up here before you got back. Honestly, wh-what sort of jackass leaves all the doors unlocked?” Rick questioned, her eyebrow hitching a little. “Rick C-137 took a huge dump in his toilet and didn’t flush afterwards, deciding Jerry could feel the wrath of Rick once he got home as a lesson.” the cyan haired man mused.  
“Yeah, well, I was the one that felt the ‘wrath of Rick’.” Crystal informed him, his coy looking smirk vanishing. “What the hell do you guys eat back on the citadel? It was like he’d eaten shit and then shat that shit back out.” she complained, still feeling slightly nauseous from that unwanted experience.  
“The citadel is ran by a society of drunks and fourteen-year-olds, go figure our food is horrible.” Rick tutted.

Rubbing her eyes Crystal sighed, beginning to feel as though she should probably call Cirrus to just come pick her up at this point. Observing this Rick opened the door to the passenger’s seat and pushed her in.  
“What are you doing?” she questioned, watching him walk around the front of the car and get in on the driver’s side.  
“I’ll drive.” he informed her, starting the engine once he had gotten the keys off of her.  
“Do you know how to?” Crystal asked, watching him cautiously.  
“I operate space ships, I’m pretty sure I know how to drive a car.” he scoffed at her, reversing the car out of the car park before setting off down the road.  
Back at C-137’s house the party had dissolved, leaving a trashed house and multiple Ricks’, and Lucy, passed out cold in various sections of the house.  
“Oh-Oh geez, did you find Jerry?” Morty questioned, having seen Rick and the redhead pull up outside the house.  
“He’s at home on his bed crying his eyes out.” Z-567 informed him dryly as he headed up towards the front door.

Staying beside her car Crystal had made a request for Cirrus to come to her location, her green eyes staring skywards expectantly. Beside her a Rick had wandered out from the garage to look up at the sky with her, his flask to his lips as he took a swig of the contents.  
“Wh-” he tried to ask before burping. “What are we looking at?” he asked, blinking one eye and then the other.  
“My ship.” she answered, able to smell the putrid stench of booze radiating off of him.  
“You-You plan to take Jerry with you?” the cyan haired scientist questioned.  
“No.” she replied stiffly.  
“Shaaame. I’d hoped to have pawned him off on someone.” Rick mused, putting his flask back into his coat pocket as her ship finally appeared and landed in the middle of the road. “Cirrus, open the hanger doors.” she requested, watching the platform drop down. “Judge, into the hanger.” she then asked, the car coming to life all on its own and driving up the ramp and into the slot that was just the right size for the car. Thereafter the platform raised back up and the car vanished, the woman then shooing her ship back up into the air until she needed it again.


	2. Chapter 2

Heading into the house, whilst ignoring C-137’s questions about where she got that car, Crystal found her sister face first into Quantum’s crotch, her mouth hung open as she snored into his trousers.  
“What a majestic woman.” she mocked, pulling a satchel from her hip to wave under Rick’s nose and then her sister’s.  
“Wh-What?!” they both began to question, waking up and fumbling into a seated position.  
“Ugh, what the hell? How am I sober?” Quantum asked, suddenly stilling. “Oh my god, I’m sober!?” the councilman then questioned, slapping his hands across his coat in search of his flask.  
“Ugh, you really are a horrible influence on my sister.” Crystal sighed, while Lucy just whined about having puke on her new shoes.  
“Crystal, you promised you wouldn’t use those salts on Rick.” the blonde finally protested. “You know how he gets when he has clarity.” she grumbled, offering him any bottles of vodka she could find left strewn around the sofa.  
“I’m sorry I hurt your precious Rick’s fragile psyche. Again.” Crystal sarcastically apologised.

Having a look around Crystal frowned at the mess, what a state.  
“You got like, a Mr. Meeseeks box laying around or?” she questioned, watching C-137 stagger off into his garage, fumble and bang about before then coming back into the room with said device. Taking it she smacked the button continuously until there was at least fifteen of the blue creatures staring at her in a group.  
“You and you, clean the bathroom. You and you, garden. You, you and you… bedrooms.” she requested, watching them cheer and rush off. “You, you and you, pick up all the bottles and rubbish. Aaaand the other five of you are to get rid of any unwanted guests that might be too drunk and passed out to get out on their own.” she commanded, watching them all then go off in various directions around the house.  
“Oh geez, I’ve not seen this many Mr. Meeseeks since that time...” Summer commented, watching them scurry around picking up various sorts of debris and garbage.  
“When’s Beth coming home?” the redhead enquired simply.  
“Uhhh, two hours from now.” Morty guessed, looking down at his watch. “B-But she knew about the party.” he admitted.  
“Ever since the divorce she’s been super chill about everything.” his sister added, smiling coyly as she cut the air with her hands.

Hitching her eyebrow the redhead eyeballed the two kids, this may have explained a few things about their eagerness to have Jerry out of the house.  
“Oh-Oh geez, someone stole our microwave.” Morty informed them an hour later once the house was back to normal, albeit missing a good few things.  
“I’ll make a new one in the morning.” C-137 stated, sitting on the sofa with his feet up whilst watching television with the other Ricks’.  
“Are-Are they all going to be here much longer?” the brunet asked, trying to be just rude enough that they got the idea that it was time they left.  
“Stop moaning, Morty, shouldn’t-shouldn’t you be in bed?” Rick questioned, his grandson letting out a frustrated groan before pausing to listen to something going on upstairs.  
“Oh-Oh geez, again!?” he questioned, staring up at the ceiling.  
“Lucy and Quantum.” Crystal informed him dryly. “Take my advice and don’t go up there. Rick and Lucy are experimenting.” she added.

Confused Morty just seemed to stare at her for a moment, his brain ticking over as he headed upstairs. A couple of minutes later there was a scream, followed by a door slamming and then the fumble of footsteps that led to and down the stairs.  
“Oh geez!” Morty gasped, his face slightly green as he came back into the living room.  
“I told you not to go up there.” Crystal reminded him.  
“I-I thought you meant they were doing actual experiments!” Morty shouted. “Like-Like building a robot or something!” he exasperated. “Oh geez.” he groaned, stumbling into the kitchen to get a glass of water.  
“I wouldn’t put it past Lucy to beg Quantum for a fully functional sex bot.” Crystal commented with a roll of her eyes.  
“Ew.” Summer grunted from her position on the single seater. “How… long have they been a thing anyway?” she then asked.  
“Five months, two weeks, seven hours.” Crystal replied simply.  
“Ok, wow...” the redhead paused, finally looking up from her phone.

Sat there, rather quiet, Crystal finally spoke again.  
“Rick seems pretty smitten with my sister, I really shouldn’t worry so much about her when she’s alone with him.” the redhead commented, checking the time on her watch.  
“You-You actually trust a Rick not to put your sister in danger?” Morty asked, ignoring the frown C-137 gave him.  
“He knows not to overstep his boundaries or else I’d butcher him.” she answered plainly, this time gaining a response from one of the Ricks’.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Z-567 questioned, having remained quiet for the most part.  
“I think it’s very clear what I’m implying, Rick.” Crystal answered sternly, narrowing her gaze as she looked up at him.  
“I wont have you threatening a councilman.” the cyan haired guard warned her as he came towards her, the woman getting to her feet to stand inches below him but unthreatened by his stature.  
“That wasn’t a threat. It was a promise.” she stated firmly.  
“Wo-Wow, okay; let’s not turn this into a fight.” Morty panicked, trying to come between them.

Having not noticed Lucy in the doorway Crystal stilled when her sister began to squawk.  
“Dammit, Crystal. I told you to stop fighting with Z-567!” the blonde protested.  
“I wasn’t fighting with him.” the redhead answered.  
“I can tell from the way you’re both looking at each other you were about to take another fist fight on the road again!” her sister fumed, Rick’s hand slowly shifting away from his portal gun. “Can’t you both get along?” she then enquired, while Quantum Rick came in through the doorway with his hands in his hair trying to fix his do.  
“My patience is represented by a thin hair, Lucy; and much like the back of Rick’s head it’s a receding affair!” Crystal snapped, to which Z-567 narrowed his gaze, pulling his gun from his belt to point it at her.  
“I’m this close to silencing you permanently!” he threatened her.  
“Bring it, you dickless wonder!” she shouted back, grabbing the barrel of the gun to put it to her forehead. “Do it, make my fucking day!” she continued, his index finger hooking around the trigger.  
“Oh-Oh geeeez!” Morty gasped, while all the Ricks’ simply froze in place.  
“What’s going on in here?!” a new voice questioned, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor.

All at once all eyes turned to Beth, the woman having only just returned home to find a fight going on in her living room. As this was going on Crystal and Z-567 continued to glare down the barrel of the gun at one another.  
‘Doooo iiii-t.’ the redhead mouthed, while Rick, albeit slowly, lowered his gun.  
“I’d rather not make a mess. We just cleaned the carpets.” Z-567 finally decided, his gun being put back on safety and placed into its holster.  
“Explain?” Beth requested, having never seen these two women before in her life.  
“Beth, this is Lucy Crystal and… Crystal… Crystal?” C-137 introduced them.  
“Billy. Her first name is Billy.” the blonde corrected him.  
“Your first name is Billy?” Quantum snorted.  
“Like… Billy Crystal?” another questioned, equally amused by her name.  
“It’s Crystal or it’s ‘you shot me in the balls! Oh my god, she shot me in the balls!’.” the redhead replied, looking at them through a narrow gaze.  
“Would you stop threatening the Ricks’!” Lucy protested, her sister’s actions stretching the limits of her own patience.

Looking between them awkwardly Beth pulled Rick aside to talk to him out in the hall.  
“Dad, did you invite whores to the party? Y’know, real prostitutes?” his daughter questioned quietly.  
“Oh, woah, sweety, no!” Rick gasped, putting his hands onto her shoulders. “No, they’re not prostitutes.” the cyan haired scientist reassured her. “One-One of them is banging Quantum Rick, a councilman from the Citadel of Ricks. The other one is her sister.” he explained, his daughter taking a deep, cleansing breath.  
“Thank god, I was really worried for a second there.” Beth admitted, glancing back inside when she heard the familiar sound of portals being opened in the living room.  
“Where are you going now?” Crystal asked, watching her sister head towards one of them.  
“I’m going to an after party with Quantum.” her sister explained.  
“But I came here to pick you up...” the redhead reminded her.  
“Oh… Well, you can wait here and I’ll be back- tomorrow? Maybe….” Lucy estimated.

Flattening her brow Crystal began to protest.  
“I flew here from the Frandune Nebulon. Have you any idea how long that took? And you just got wasted tonight, are you seriously going on another bender?” she complained.  
“Well someone sobered me up with their stupid.. stupid space dust! So you’ve only yourself to thank for that.” Lucy reminded her, her sister’s green eyes rolling in distaste.  
“Look, I’m sick of Cirrus doing circles around the universe wasting precious jet fuel, can we figure out something so I don’t have to keep coming to pick you up?” Crystal questioned, watching Lucy get pushed towards the portal by Quantum, who by this point was getting antsy.  
“Just wait here until I get back, okay? We can work something out later!” her sister shouted, vanishing through the green goop.  
Glancing up at Z-567 Crystal looked away again before looking back up at him again a few seconds later when he continued to loom over her.  
“Well, aren’t you going with them?” the redhead asked.  
“I was told to keep an eye on you.” Rick replied, a sour frown stuck on his face.  
“You got a bachelor pad or what?” she then questioned with a sigh.  
“Just sleep on your-your ship.” he grunted.  
“I’m not sleeping on my ship, I’m starting to develop cabin fever again.” she refused, scratching her neck a little. “That and rickets.” she sighed.

Lolling his eyes between the two of them Morty was not too sure what to think of them, while they were no longer particularly at each other’s throats they were not exactly being civil with one another either. Their relationship certainly appeared very passive aggressive.  
“Then eat more oranges.” Rick tutted.  
“That’s scurvy, idiot.” Crystal mocked him, the corner of his lip turning down slightly. “You cure rickets with fish, eggs or milk. Vitamin D enriched stuff. Scurvy is a lack of Vitamin C.” she informed him.  
“My apologise, m’lady; I forgot I majored in super science, not cooking.” he replied, a small amused scoff parting her lips.  
“You majored in ‘Super science’, huh? Where did you get your diploma?” she asked, her shit eating grin only getting bigger. “Massachusetts Institute of Technology?” she then asked, gaining a ‘hah’ from Morty.  
“I didn’t need to go to school to learn anything. School’s for idiots.” he replied in a stony fashion, her smile dissipating slightly.  
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” she scoffed.

Rolling his eyes Rick stared down at her with an expectant look on his face.  
“Okay, what did you major in?” he asked.  
“Are you kidding? It was the early seventies.” she answered. “I’d have gone to college but I was abducted before they released Title IX in seventy-two any way. I left Earth with a qualification in Home Economics.” she explained with a frown. “The only thing that got me through the day was my eight-track tape of Bay City Rollers and a poster of Paul Newman.” she uttered, going a little nostalgic. “Whatever happened to him?” she then questioned, looking around the room at all the confused faces. “You know… Paul Newman, the seventies heart throb? Famous for the quote ‘why fool around with hamburger when you have steak at home’?” she asked, her lips flattening out as Beth just slowly shook her head.  
“Paul Newman: American actor, died in two-thousand-and-eight.” Summer stated aloud, reading the information off of a website she had pulled up on her phone.  
“Aw, he’s dead?” the redhead questioned with a frown. 

Contemplating who else she could remember from back when she was last on earth Crystal began to list them off in no particular order.  
“What about Bernice Frankel from Golden Girls?” she asked curiously.  
“Dead.” the teen replied after a simple search.  
“Patrick McGoohan?” Crystal tried again.  
“Dead.” she answered.  
“Farrah Fawcett?!” the redhead questioned.  
“Deeeeea-d.” Summer replied, switching to her messenger to see what her friend had sent her.  
“Oh my god, who is still alive from when I was last on Earth?” Crystal enquired, close to stomping her foot in frustration.  
“Burt Reynolds is still alive.” C-137 tried to console her.

Pausing the redhead only frowned.  
“Was that the guy who played a red skin?” she asked, causing them to gasp.  
“Oh, oh geez, Crystal; you-you can’t call them that any more, it’s soc-socially unacceptable.” Morty informed her, gaining only a confused look in return.  
“Oh, it is? What about n-” she went to say, getting cut off by Z-567 grabbing her mouth.  
“Yes, that isn’t acceptable either.” he stated very firmly. Frowning the redhead licked his hand, the cyan haired guard contorting his face as he pulled his hand away to rub his palm against his trouser leg.  
“How long has it been since you were last on Earth?” Beth decided to ask, bringing Crystal and Z-567 something to drink.  
“I think it’s been about forty-eight years?” she guessed, doing a little maths in her head.  
“Oh wow… So that must make you about...” the blonde went to guess, trying to lure Crystal into saying how old she is.  
“Why is everyone so fascinated with my age?” she replied with a small pout, picking up her coffee cup to take a sip.  
“I’m just trying to place where and how you would have met my Dad.” Beth explained carefully.

Glancing over at her Crystal took a moment to truly examine Rick’s daughter. She was certainly quite young looking for a mother of two, especially when Summer appeared to be in the later years of teenage hood.  
“Well, I met Rick at a Rick themed resort following my divorce. I’ve only known him for about five months.” she explained plainly.  
“Oh, so you met on holiday, that’s nice.” Beth spoke, smiling at them.  
“I set off the threat detector and had to wear a Morty Cap the entire week.” Crystal joked.  
“If I had my way you’d still be wearing it.” Z-567 commented snidely.  
“If you had your way you’d send me to the moon.” Crystal mumbled from underneath her breath, her mouth hidden behind her coffee cup.  
“Bang. Zoom.” Rick replied just as quietly.

Later the Smith family had finally gone to bed, leaving Crystal on the sofa watching television quietly. For once the redhead had been viewing dimensional channels so that she could see what the people of Earth entertained themselves with these days, however most of it only confused the hell out of her. Looking to her left when the darkened room began to glow green Crystal watched as Z-567 came through a portal, her green eyes shifting higher to cope with him coming to loom over her.  
“Are they done partying?” she asked, bouncing slightly as Rick flopped down onto the sofa and pulled out his flask to take a swig.  
“Not even slightly.” he answered, screwing the cap back on. “What are you watching?” he then asked, giving the flickering screen a scrutinising stare.  
“Dimensional television. It’s not as good as I thought it would be.” she admitted, watching a character she could not remember the name of sitting on the toilet taking a dump. “I thought only interdimensional t.v was like this, but I guess it’s just how the media’s evolved in general.” she sighed, changing the channel to a radio one. At least she could enjoy that.

Sitting there thereafter Crystal leaned back against the sofa and shut her eyes, trying to at least relax. Feeling something run against her hand the redhead opened an eye, her green eyes shifting downwards to look at Rick’s hand leaning against her pinky. Mulling it over for a moment she leaned her hand against his that little bit more, not entirely sure if it had just been a mistake on his behalf to have touched her. When his hand made no other suggestive movements she slid her hand away.  
“I’m going upstairs.” she informed him, getting up and heading upstairs as quietly as she could. Brushing her teeth before heading into Jerry’s old office room the redhead paused when she found Rick skulking about in the room waiting for her, her brow flattening. So he was going to watch her sleep now, was he?  
“What are you wearing?” he asked, eyeballing the silk negligee she always slept in.  
“You don’t remember me wearing this?” she retorted with another question, closing the door behind herself before trying to decide whether she would sleep on the reclining chair or the small sofa near the window.  
“You-You wear that in public?” Rick asked, looking directly at her ass as she picked up a photo off of the desk to have a look at.  
“If you don’t like it you can get out.” she put it bluntly, putting the picture frame back down meekly.

Turning around she crossed her arms, her chest being pushed together and hoisted up amidst the motion. Quietly he just stared at her as she continued to traipse around the room eyeing everything up.  
“So he likes golf...” she acknowledged, looking at the motivational poster on the wall above Jerry’s golf clubs. “Wonder why he didn’t take anything in this room with him...” she murmured.  
“He took one thing in this room.” Rick commented, her lips flattening out.  
“Really?” she asked, turning to look at him. “You’re going to start that again? Are you trying to get a rise out of me? You’re just so unbelievably jealousy, aren’t you?” she continued to question.  
“Me, jealous? Hah! That’s a real-real laugh, Crystal, a real laugh! I mean A; I’m a handsome, virile, immortal genius who is threatened by absolutely no one! Especially not a Jerry. And B; jealousy is a waste of brain activity, I have many more important things to do than be ‘unbelievably jealous’.” Rick informed her sternly, their visions locked on to one another.

Stood there Crystal grabbed Rick by his coat lapels and pulled him down, their lips locking together. Thereafter her hands shot up to ruffle and massage the back of his head and hair vigorously, while he grabbed onto her hips and pulled her flush against him. Stumbling backwards they eventually found a wall to lean up against. Having her try to hook one leg up onto his hip Rick rubbed his gloved palm down her thigh before sliding his hand back up towards her ass, finally using his strength to pick her up and use the wall to prop her there, her legs wrapping around his waist automatically.  
After a few minutes Rick began to slide the redhead down the wall, his knees bending as he lowered her towards the ground. Tugging on his white coat Crystal managed to get it off of his shoulders before he aided her by taking it off completely once they were comfortably down on the wooden flooring. Delicately pinching the ribbon that kept her bra closed between two fingers Rick began to slowly pull it, loosening the bow. Amidst their kissing Rick’s watch began buzzing, the cyan haired guard lifting his lips away from Crystal’s to look down at the flashing screen.  
“Noooo…” she whined, knowing full well who it would be.

Wrapping her hand around his wrist, and simultaneously the watch, the redhead pulled his arm and hand back towards her chest.  
“Ignore it.” she whispered, trying to lure him back into having his way with her again.  
“I can’t.” Rick groaned, clear pain in his voice as he rolled his eyes down her body, her breasts near inches from being fully exposed. Sighing Crystal released his wrist, though her grip on it was never that demanding in the first place. Getting to his feet Rick helped her up and then finally answered the call, walking a few yards from her as Quantum rambled something about needing something from another dimension. “Okay.” he agreed, hanging up thereafter.  
“Will you be back?” Crystal asked, sitting in the sexiest position she could muster on the reclining chair.  
“Not until Quantum brings Lucy back.” Rick surmised, turning to look at her as he opened up a portal.  
“You owe me!” she called meekly, his attempt to go through the portal stalling for a mere moment before he continued on his way through.

In the morning Crystal waited in the living room patiently until a portal opened and a clearly hung over Lucy stumbling out in front of her, escorted just as slowly by a groggy Quantum, and two, plain faced guards, who came in behind her. Z-567, however, was nowhere to be seen.  
“Quantum, it’s good to see you.” the redhead greeted him, getting to her feet.  
“What about me?” Lucy asked, rubbing her forehead as Beth got up to go get her a much needed glass of water.  
“Go hug a landmine.” Crystal replied, still not happy with her sister buggering off last night to continue partying.  
“I think I already did.” the blonde answered, flopping down onto a chair nearby.  
“I wont be able to see you for the next month, Lu-Lu; business in the citadel and all that.” Quantum apologised, kissing her hand gently.  
“That’s okay, Q’. I have to help Crystal with herbal exports in Tryurum anyway.” she groaned, whilst her sister merely lifted an unconvinced eyebrow.  
“We’ll see how helpful you are.” she mused, requesting Cirrus come pick them up. “Say goodbye, Lucy, we’re going.” the redhead then uttered, heading out into the backyard to wait for her ship.

Once she had said her goodbyes Lucy left the Smith’s house and boarded the ship, her body slumping into the co-pilots chair.  
“Did you enjoy your time with Quantum?” the redhead asked, glancing to her sister after she had set off up towards the Earth’s atmosphere.  
“In many ways I feel just like when I was a virgin.” Lucy sighed, smiling like an idiot.  
“You mean the feeling isn’t going to last long?” her sister mused.  
“Are you implying I lost my virginity at an early age?” the blonde asked, giving her sister a naive look.  
“I’m just saying you’re lucky the children's magazines didn’t have a gossip column.” the redhead mocked, keeping an eye on the condition of the ship while her sister frowned.  
“Did you enjoy your evening?” the blonde asked, deciding to drop the subject. Giving it a good bit of thought Crystal was not entirely sure what to say.  
“Yeah.” she answered simply. Rick was not going to get away for the third time the next time they met, she would make sure of it.


End file.
